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TALES OF AN ORANGEPEELER

an archive of pleasures, wounds, sublimations
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12.30.01

More late-nite, coffee-inspired doubts ... Jeez.

...

"I cordially dislike allegory in all its manifestations, and always have done so since I grew old and wary enough to detect its presence. I much prefer history, true or feigned, with its varied applicability in the thought and experience of readers. I think that many confuse 'applicability' with 'allegory'; but the one resides in the freedom of the reader, and the other in the purposed domination of the author."--JRR Tolkien, in his foreword to The Fellowship of the Ring

...

The urge to censor myself is strong. I know my cousins and mom's co-workers have found this site. Why they may want to read this, I don't really know.

Surveillance, maybe, the curious eye turned on the girl-cousin or the never-seen daughter of a co-worker.

Mom has already asked me to not write about her ... so I wonder what's appropriate. I am her daughter. When I'm writing fiction, should I worry that someone will mistake a character as representing my mother, the writer a vengeful daughter? Can I explore anything explicitly political without her having to potentially deal with workplace-related repercussions? Although the daughter is the mother's child, the mother should never, of course, be responsible for what comes out of the daughter's mouth... but during a time of increasing paranoia and hysteric discourse stinking of McCarthyism, I don't know what I may or may not disclose, especially with this journal being so open.

Any suggestions on how I might alleviate this situation?






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