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an archive of pleasures, wounds, sublimations
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03.25.04, midnight

Tonight was a good night at the New World, even if we made little in tips. Maybe it was cuz I wore a stickpinned skinny tie for the first time, telling Jimmy, Look at me, I'm a Schoolboy. He cocked his brow. Ok, I demurred, An Unusually Round-bottomed Schoolboy.

Or maybe it was cuz we had too much Vietnamese coffee and not enough cranky, nit-picky customers. In the nearly empty restaurant, we bee-buzzed over tables, humming to the soundtrack of Wong Kar-Wai's In the Mood for Love. It reminded me of another soundtrack, from a vintage Chinese movie I had watched long ago, maybe when I was 8, maybe when I was 12, maybe with my mother before she forgot all her Chinese words. Whether on tape or via PBS, viewed with my mother or not, and despite the maudlin acting style employed, the movie was memorable enough, as its plot concerned a young woman masquerading as a male Imperial scholar who successfully woos and weds a beautiful young maiden.

A patron watched us, tired-eyed and smiling bemusedly over a slice of vegan chocolate cake. The rain had ceased awhile ago; 8th Street looked like it had never seen any storms.

. . .

Hyperdictionary's dream dictionary definition of movie: Dreaming that you are watching a movie suggests that you are watching life pass you by. Perhaps you are living vicariously through the actions of others. Consider also how the movie parallels to situations in your waking life. Observe how the characters relate to you and how they may represent an aspect of yourself. Dreaming that you are playing a role in the movie, foretells that something from your unconscious is about to emerge or be revealed. It may also represent memories of images or scenes from your past. Alternatively, the dream may be pointing you toward a new role that you might be undertaking. Your unconscious is psychologically preparing you for this new role.

. . .

Ah. But I might be mistaken about that movie. Did the plot concerned a young woman in successful masquerade or had a woman been cast to play a male scholar? Regardless either possibility/certainty was enough to cause frisson in the viewership by a girl young to the boundaries of gender.


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