outwait outrun outwit


an archive of pleasures, wounds, sublimations
& other curiosities :: profile


Courage, what's that? principled genius in the face of fear and uncertainty, a boldness of character that can endure 27 years in jail, not only for family, but also for the nameless stranger on the street, for the dream of self-determination. RIP, great man.


I struggle with words. I struggle against the desire for immediate communication. I say one thing, and immediately regret it, for it was the lazy thing to say. I reached for words already available; any writer must find suspect this readiness to be used.

I wanted to say, Character determines destiny. What a character, what a destiny. But that's simplistic. Sure, character's behind certain actions, but I'll argue that destiny (life-pattern? not fate!) is also steered by a combination of impenetrable and perceptible factors, by birth- and life-circumstances, all the shit (or lack of it) or different types of shit piled on from the moment you first regarded the world with the intelligence that is uniquely your own.

Anyways, I decided to retract that initial thought, to struggle - because writing is struggle - with what I want to say, what each word is conspiring with the words that come after it, this conspiracy of language to simultaneously obscure and reveal what really needed to be spoken, even if it is a simple thing.


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