outwait outrun outwit


an archive of pleasures, wounds, sublimations
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Yesterday was overwhelming, in a good way. My supervisor said my chapter was one of the best (of a dissertation) that he has ever read (!). Of course I couldn't concentrate, so I decided to treat myself in various ways. I had ice cream sandwiches with the Queen of Swords in the sunshine, after a month of rain and gloom and nausea. Sweaty and sun-bronzed, I tried on COS dresses in a posh department store, swooning over heavy black minimalist jersey cut and sewn in amazing ways, and I got a dress fit for a modern pagan priestess, ideal for the office, the pub, moonlit grottos by sea or mountain. To counter all those meals prepared in puritan efficiency and eaten after exercise as a pesky interruption of the cycle between work and sleep, I ate a meal that roused my hitherto-numbed senses, sweet and savoury and cool and spicy all at once. Afterwards, we met with family at a hotel (and former abbey), for the pleasure of meeting and re-affirming connection over brandy and cake. I did my best to not look at my watch, in anticipation of the next day, the next chapter. Today I went back at it, gathering my sources and reading with a zealous eye, a Furiosa heading to the green land. Tomorrow, wedding!


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