outwait outrun outwit


an archive of pleasures, wounds, sublimations
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I finished formatting and proofreading the thesis at dawn, surrounded by beer cans and Chinese takeaway tins. Smoking a sneaky rollie, I took a video of the sky, to remind me of this feeling, so much lightness, as if everything inside me was suddenly vacuumed out.

Still groggy, I sit before my laptop, wondering if there is one last thing I can tweak. Then I decide to take the advice of my rising sign horoscope for this week:

"Your range of potential actions is always wider than you think it is — it’s still possible to refuse some of the social imperatives that seem so ironclad. It’s possible to just not do some of the work you’re told is mandatory. You can leave the room and leave the building and walk out into the garden where it smells like flowers and dirt. If you need it bad enough, you can leave the safety of the place that feels most stifling, and you can keep walking until you can see the sky."


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