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TALES OF AN ORANGEPEELER

an archive of pleasures, wounds, sublimations
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12.03.03, wednesday night

When you decide to invite three of your best friends to this rilly rilly cool vegan restaurant, DO NOT ARRIVE 15 MINUTES BEFORE CLOSING.

Because even though the customer is always right and waitresses are paid to serve you, it does not mean that it's okay to insist that you will have dinner quickly only to have her serve you for AN HOUR PAST CLOSING TIME (and to listen to your conversation on how you proposed to your fiance and how you didn't get to fly to Aspen this year, etc) ESPECIALLY ON AN OBVIOUSLY SLOW NIGHT.

Because right before you arrived, she was preparing to leave on time. Now, not only must she wait for you to decide on what you will eat, get your order, bring you your drinks and your food and your check, she MUST ALSO ACCOMPLISH THE FOLLOWING TASKS: wait patiently for you to scoot out so that she can bus your table, calculate the paperwork for the entire day, make sure all the sauces have been put away, set the tables, and count the cash register, all of which must be done quickly or else the owner will glare because of the extra $6.75 he will have to pay you but of course it can't be done quickly because there are A ZILLION THINGS TO DO AND REMEMBER and when she's finally done, she'll look at the clock and realize that it is 10:25 PM when she could have clocked out at 9:15 PM (at the latest) and what sort of thanks does she get for allowing you to dine 15 minutes before closing? A LOUSY TIP.






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