outwait outrun outwit


an archive of pleasures, wounds, sublimations
& other curiosities :: profile

08.20.03, wednesday afternoon

After the obituary is published, what happens next? When the funeral, elegies and burial of someone dear to you have been performed and finished, then what? Moving on through this life can't go on as it did before the death. The memory of the death persists in haunting you; there's always the chance of yet another shock, the spark that reminds you, stinging, of a beloved who is indeed dead; it's true, you can no longer have any more conversations with that person except with their memory or their ghost or in dreams, in the most unexpected places - on the toilet in a restaurant in New Orleans, crossing Dolores for a picnic in the park during summertime, or during those lonely desperate times when you thought you could just die under the pressure of being alive. The closest, I suppose, that you can get to an angel. (Cassandra, I miss you.)


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